Palamariu Family Blog

The 1^st of March, Indians celebrate Holi, the festival of colors. In Delhi area this represent the first day of spring while closer to the desert, in Jodhpur, 1^st of March is the first day of hot summer.

The week before Holi, in all markets one can buy almost from each stall strong color powders like pink, green, yellow, red and orange. You may think this celebration is especially for kids, but in fact entire families are preparing to have fun playing Holi. Given the fact colors are very strong, even 1 week after Holi, you can still see on the street pink or green skinned Indians wearing the marks of the color fighting.

Besides the color fighting, Holi has a spiritual manifestation that depends from neighborhood to neighborhood. Therefore, on Holi’s eve, people gather around big fires, where they have prepared offerings and flower garlands to the Gods and are doing some sort of rituals.

We joined a neighborhood from Old Jodhpur for Holi’s eve celebrations and it was great!! The tradition there is to do a singing and dancing procession through the whole neighborhood in the honor of marriage. Whoever takes part of it has more chances to get married sooner. Together with couchsurfers from Jodhpur and Australia we got involved in the event and just at the end of it I realized that besides me and Jen (from Australia), no other women was out on the street for the celebration. In fact was more like a ritual for men

Radu was so active in the celebrations that the organizers thanked him many many times for the participation and decorated him with flower garlands.

After 2 weeks we finally start to mind more or less about our “business” for which we came here in India.

Why didn’t we start earlier? Well the reasons are multiple, but they can be summarized in 2 words: culture shock.  I name culture shock all the different things that I use to think are not normal to happen, but which seem to be the lifestyle here: cows, goats, rats, squirrels spending all day long on the street without anybody to make them go aside from the traffic, a lot of dust everywhere inside and outside, people paying 50 Rp (less than 1 euro) to have accommodation in front of the hotel in beds guarded by the hotel’s staff, many cars which are no moment lined up on a lane since everybody has his own rules of circulation or recycling garbage with the help of cows that use it as meals. Adapting to this life it’s a process that took us 2 weeks  :-D

Before telling you the “business” we are having in India, I would like to share with you more impressions about India. I perceive this country to be aggressive in almost all ways, which is not always a bad thing. One’s eyes can enjoy a multitude of strong colors just in the way women dress here: turquoise, green lime combined with red, dark pink, bright yellow or gold orange saris, a lot of golden jewelries, tenth’s of colored bracelets. More than that, no pylon escaped from the big, colorful advertisements in the cities or in-between cities. When it comes to your ears, one can enjoy the delightful chanting dedicated to divers Gods. Also, on the other hand, even if you wear ear plugs, you can still hear a determined Indian who wants to sell you something and keeps repeating sooo loud his speech (coffee man in the train, sellers in the market, auto-rickshaw drivers etc.) and the continuous horning from the street. When it comes to taste, I sincerely confess that food here is delicious, even if it’s aggressively spicy, salted or sweet. With the smell, I think I had the hardest time to adapt. The food’s smell is covered by the petrol smell coming from the thousands of auto-vehicles on the street, cow’s sheet which is rarely cleaned from the street (attracting so many flies), and human urine (because men sometimes just piss on the street).

Even geographically, you can have here all the extremes: aggressively hot in the south while close to Himalaya Mountains it’s extremely cold, both desert and very green places can be found in India. Good or less good things, both are in your face.

Now that I described the way I see India, up to this point, I’ll share with you what we want to do in India. We came to India having planned to explore nature diversity (desert, forest and mountains) but also the spiritual side of India. After overcoming the culture shock together with the hard moments of body weakness (cold or stomach ache) we are ready for camel safari and life in desert, do trekking activities in Daramshala, going in an ashram for Vipassana meditation and Yoga class.

Keep you posted!

“Tomorrow we are going to Deepak’s family!” Cristina tells me with great enthusiasm in her voice. Deepak is a good Indian friend of hers from the time she was studying in Brest. And, even if he is not currently in Delhi, he insisted that we go and see his family.

So, the next day, we take a rickshaw taxi and set out through a horrendous Delhi traffic to have an authentic experience of Indian hospitality. Though, hardly had we known how deep it can be.

“Welcome! We are sooo happy to meet you!” Deepak’s brother Monik was quick to greet us when we finally arrived at their place, having spent more than two hours in an insane Delhi traffic. Very quickly, we got introduced to all the family: Deepak’s father and mother, Monik’s wife, Nitty, and their two lovely children.

Hardly had we sat down and Nitty was already very fast to start bringing several delicious goodies on the table. “Take a little bit of everything!” Deepak’s father encouraged us.

Having filled up our plate, we proceeded to savour the mouth watering taste of Indian snacks. Wooooaw! It was a treat to remember!

And just as we finished and were already pretty full, Deepak’s father announced: “And very soon Nitty will bring dinner. “

“What? There is more?!?” myself and Cristina were thinking, feeling our stuffed up stomachs.

Deepak’s father continued “You really need to try the food as Nitty took the afternoon off from work especially to prepare it”.

This was just the first moment when we realised how much these people had gone through to welcome us in their home.

What followed was the most amazing dinner we have had in our life. Homemade Raita, Chappatti, Panner, Potatoes and some more dishes that I do not know the name of followed.

Needless to say, we were overwhelmed.

And Monik was always on stand by, filling up our plates the moment we were close to finishing what we had.

And when we left, they had yet another surprise. They had prepared gifts: a sari for Cristina, a silver coin that had been in their family for generations, a Krishna flute and box of sweets. And they also would not allow us to pay for the taxi back home.

Moreover, even after all this, when we felt quite overwhelmed and we could not stop saying ‘Thank you! Thank you so much!” they were still insisting: “It was nothing! As part of our culture, this is what we need to do for our guests!”

Between Bali and India, Singapore found his practical useful place. It’s quite handy to have such an organized and uncorrupted place so easy accessible from all the points of South East Asia. In Singapore we arranged our visas for India, which are harder to get than we initially imagined.

Of course, besides the administrative part of our traveling adventures, we enjoyed the company of friends. We had several board games nights, movie night at Vani’s place, Egyptian day with Yasmine. In few words, Singapore was a good relaxing preamble before India.

Moreover, we experienced Chinese New Year and its cultural side. As for other cultural events like Deepavali, Christmas, New Year etc., Singapore dressed up with lights and Chinese symbols for entering the year of Tiger. Since this is an important event celebrated by 70% of people living in Singapore, 2 days were declared public holiday; that made a 4 day weekend for Singaporeans.

The first day of the year is celebrated in very different ways by the nationalities living in Singapore. Malay, Filipinos, Indians, white people (everybody except the Chinese) filled out the parks along the sea side camping, picnicking and riding bikes or rollerblading. It looked like a 1st May celebration in Romania. I want to make a short parenthesis here: being such a small country, Singapore doesn’t have rural areas or wild nature, but it has huge parks (10+ km2). Therefore, for spending some time in the nature, people camp in the parks in the most organized way possible, being at maximum 1h by bus away from their homes.

For Chinese people, the new day of the year is celebrated together with the family – with parents’ siblings, grandparents and cousins. It’s a day when Chinese wearing very fancy clothes visit and spend time, catching up with their extended families. It reminded me about Christmas because of the family reunion, but also Easter because it was so warm outside and people shown off their best clothes from their wardrobe.

At a personal level, we had some time to evaluate Indonesia experience and its meaning but also the learning it provided us with. It’s quite interesting what we came up with: Radu sees us back to Singapore when finishing our travelings and myself I’m more and more attracted by the idea of starting a PHD in September… maybe in Singapore

As looking back on the blog posts about Bali, there are several things we didn’t cover. I guess I was too much in love with this place and as love is blind, the Bali I have described is the true paradise.

Now, that we are already in India, we took some distance from the Bali experience and I believe I can be more objective and analytic when writing about Bali.

So far you might have read in the previous posts that Balinese people live in communities and don’t complain. These 2 aspects offered us new perspectives and new insights: the massive care towards the others, how inspired you feel when people around you are not complaining.

Another outcome of the community lifestyle is that people are very much oriented towards sharing. Once you become their good friend, Balinese consider you as part of the community. This has 2 sides: they will be a good support for you in the difficult moments but also, don’t be surprised if they think it’s normal to borrow or use your belongings (slippers, socks, etc.). So this could be a bit uncomfortable and one has to set boundaries when being in this situation. The tricky part is that you can never know how the feedback is received, due to the fact that Balinese people don’t complain and are not assertive.

If one decides to move to Bali, should be aware that health centers or hospitals are rather unprofessional. Local people go to see healers for many of their medical issues and sometimes to the hospital for serious problems. Expats put their hopes in the Singaporean and Bangkok hospitals, which are only 3 hours flight away from Bali. Of course that is not reassuring for everybody

Going further with the analysis, another aspect that can be slightly bothering is the corruption. Money can solve almost any problem one can have, but that makes life fairly unjust and unequal for people living in Bali. Expats are usually charged more and also if one gets to the tribunal, the chances for an expat to win are very improbable; though by paying you can for sure win.

When I look back, I see both positive and negative sides of Bali, but still for me this remains the best place to be in.

I love the freedom of expression and creativity one can have in Bali. You don’t hear about ambitions and materialistic status, about politics or social demands: “this is good” and “that is bad”. It’s a great place to be yourself, to reinvent yourself and simply to live the life as you like. I appreciate the people for being simple and caring about the others, even with their faults. I don’t expect anybody to be perfect and I’m confident that in time any conflict can be solved.

News about Singapore and New Delhi are about to come, as well as the corresponding pictures. So stay tuned!

She is Dayu. The head of the staff at Kubu Merta villa.

She earns 70 euro a month. She, as most of the other people in Indonesia, works 6 days a week, gets only one day off…oh, and she has NO holidays! (can you imagine having just Sundays off and working the rest of the year?!?) Her husband, Ketut, is currently unemployed.

As she is pregnant, for her to go and give birth in a hospital (as in Indonesia medical care is not at all free!), it would cost her 300 euros (her salary for 4 months!) Plus there are plenty of ceremonies and offerings the Balinese culture expect from a new mother. Dayu also has to pay for that.

Moreover, Dayu and her husband live in a tiny room, where if two people lie on the floor, the third one would really have to really squeeze in!

But…Dayu is HAPPY! In our 2 and a half month stay in Kubu Merta, I have never seen her down. Nor have I ever heard her complain about anything.

And only once did i see her sad…and it was because her brother had accidentally deleted all her wedding pictures. So she had not one left! But even that…It lasted her just one day. Then she was back to smiling mode.

Obviously, all this really makes my “problems” look significantly smaller. Not to say mere trifles. And gives me little excuse for choosing to complain. And be unhappy about what I have.

Because it is soooo much more than what Dayu has. But she still chooses to smile…and work her way through it.

When we left on our trip, hardly did we know what experiences awaited us. It is not to say that now we feel we know better, but at least we have an idea. And it is quite different than that of a trip of one week or even one month. Thinking back on when I was working and used to take a holiday, I would take at least 2-3 months to plan in detail. Well, a trip for one year can hardly be planned the same way…or you would get biggg headaches.

Why am I thinking of this? Well, because we are just 4 days away from our next destination. And I am a bit melancholic as I reflect on how time has past since we first arrived in Indonesia. It was beginning of November 2009. And our habit of being very procedural with organizing our time, with organizing small trips and meeting different people was sooooo strong. We were on a schedule. Too little things were left to chance. “This is the way we are”, we were thinking back then as we took time before going to sleep to be grateful for all he little things we were experiencing.

But from then until now it seems like years have passed by. And this has a lot to do with our Bali experience. At the beginning, there were 2 weeks in which we wanted just to explore. And this was exactly the prelude in which Bali seduced our senses:
- our sight with the beauty of the landscapes, bright traditional clothing and the shiny smiles on people’s faces
- our hearing with the day and night concert of the gheko and chichak lizards accompanied by the chorus of insects and the sound of the gamelan in ceremony days
- our smell with the powerful aroma of flowers, incense and jungle in the rainy days
- our taste with the delicious foods at Dewa Warung, Mangga Madu, Sari organic and the numerous Padang Warungs

And it was no wonder that, following this, we followed our senses and came back to Bali once again. This time for 2 months. And now, looking back on those months, if I am to reflect on what are the most important memories I will store in my memory luggage, there are certain places, people and experiences that I have already reserved a very special place:

Dewa Warung- the restaurant where we feasted on mouth watering vegetarian meals. And especially the best dessert in the world: the coconut pie!
Our numerous lunches and dinners here were moments of sharing thoughts, emotions, happiness, new discoveries and experiences with travelers all across the world. As there are long tables with benches you are “forced” to stay next to people you do not know. And even if you just want to have a chat with your husband, your neighbor will still start talking to you, ask if you like your food or try to guess your nationality. Plus, almost all the backpackers stop at Dewa if for nothing else, they will buy a coconut pie “bunkus” (take away in Indonesian)

Dewa Warung

The wonder of getting up in the clear morning and taking a walk in the rice paddies. In the distance, you can spot the massive volcanoes at 40 kms away, framing the landscape on both sides, and making you feel really small as you trek off the beaten path.

Rice paddies & mont Agung

The Let Go and Go with the flow feelings. Probably they are not useful in all circumstances, but I sure needed to experience them!

Because in the process of growing up, i had developed preferences for a certain clothes, foods, i had became attached to the things I owned and the places I felt comfortable in. The Let Go feeling offered me a new perspective; it’s quite useful especially when traveling and the sequence of events “discover”, “find the comfort”, “head to a new destination” happens frequently. For me it’s just a new way to manifest my freedom.

Whilst the Go with the flow state of mind taught me that using the system to manifest my dreams is much more relaxing and less energy consuming than when I viciously fight against it. It may be a bit generic, but there are so many practical applications.
Simple example: the rules in Bali traffic. One can overtake on both sides. Honking equals signaling. You are responsible only for what happens in your front so nobody looks behind when changing directions. You need to pay constant attention to motorbikes rushing towards you on your own line as well as the dogs sleeping in the middle of the road. Not to mention the black holes in the asphalt that if you are not careful can swallow you and the bike altogether. Now, of course, you can chose to be frustrated, start honking like crazy or “bless” everybody with a curse (which would probably be normal in Romania), but what good would that be? Just go with the flow!

The thundering waterfall in which we immersed and swam and got hypnotized by how beautiful nature can be.

Waterfall

The pitch black sand beach, as soft as a pillow, with surfers riding the waves.

Black sand beach

The wonderful people we met and the community of friends we built around Kubu Merta villa and with which we organized countless events: salsa lessons, movie nights, jam sessions, laughing yoga, karaoke, full moon party, etc.  (We miss you guys!!)

Elsha and Phil, our lovely hosts, who inspired us with their forever young spirit and their playful way of being, not to mention their incredible life stories.

Reading all this, you can probably imagine why Bali is still on our list for 2010. We are coming back with Radu’s parents in August!!

As for now, we have begun the moral and physical preparation for India!

The sun outside was shining like a ball of gold. Sounds from the orchestra of birds, frogs and insects in the rice paddies filled the air. Loud laughter and chattering came from the kids playing next door. It all seemed like another day in Bali paradise.

Well, not for me. I literally felt like sh*t. Yeah! Can you imagine?!?
Having  total freedom to travel and do whatever I felt like… having the fortune to have a beautiful wife to share the adventures with…having the privilege to live for free in Kubu Merta, a 5 star villa, surrounded by incredible people…and still, I was unhappy!

How is this even possible? Apparently, in my case, I still managed to find things to be unhappy about. Like, not having something to do consistently.  Having lived for one month in Ubud, Bali, the magic of exploration disappeared as we had settled in. So I felt I needed something to do longer term. A more constant occupation.  I even almost wanted to have a job again!

Looking back, the reason seems quite silly and my approach highly passive. But back then, it was very real for me.
On the bright side, I experienced the hard way the saying: our INSIDE shapes the outside!

And it is not enough to assume that because I am on a dream journey everything will be all roses and bliss without any effort from my side. Because, as I found out, it doesn’t work like this.

There still are difficult times. There are challenges. There are moments of hardship.

And yes! I am solely responsible for the way I feel. And the external world is not going to make me feel better if I do not play my part as well. You can be in paradise and still find things to complain.
And you can be in hell and find things you like.

But…I did get over it. How? The answer is a no brainer, but well…by doing something! Because after several days of just being miserable, I had enough. And decided to take action, instead of bitching and complaining around. (by this time, I had driven Cristina mad as well )

And what do you think? Once I stopped being passive, I found plenty of things to do: planning our next trip to India, exploring more of Bali, writing on the blog, finding out more opportunities of creating business, making new friends, etc.

Surprise, surprise! 

For the past days, every morning, we had a special way of starting our day: Laughing out loud! Literally. In the lobby of Kubu Merta villa. For at least 10 minutes. No jokes necessary. Though you do need a lot of openness and willingness to try it out!

And if you don’t believe me, here are some pictures:

“Why?” is a valid question you might ask. Well, because somebody explained to us all the benefits that laughter has on our body. Even if the laughter is fake. It doesn’t matter because our body doesn’t know the difference. Just like when you watch a horror movie you might get scared, even if you know it is just a movie. As the body doesn’t know the difference. The same with laughter. If you laugh, you will feel good, even if there is nothing funny.

How about the benefits of laughing? Looking on the different websites, I especially liked the ones that say that laughing for 15 minutes is the same as going to the gym for an hour because it works a lot of your muscles (especially the abdomen- figure that? getting a 6 pack from laughing).

Also, when we laugh, our brain releases endorphins, the happiness hormones. Again, no matter if the laughter is real or not. And there are studies that prove that laughing for 15 minutes a day has been enough to lift away depression. (have a look here for more scientific tests)

So, with all this in mind, we will certainly be doing it again. It’s too fun to stop. Plus, it is FREE!

How about you? Are you willing to try out laughing out loud for 10 minutes a day?

Until now we have been writing articles about interesting people we met in Bali. But they were mostly foreigners themselves.

Therefore, this blog post will be dedicated solely to local bred and born Balinese people.

Their culture is renowned for its hospitality, living together in communities, spirituality and openness to art; even the simplest bed design has a flower sculptured on the side.

And even more than hospitality and community life, something that deeply impressed me was the dedication with which the Balinese people take care of the people around them. May they be Balinese or even foreign. The moment you begin to have a day to day relationship with a Balinese, he is very likely to consider you as part of his family.

Great example: at Kubu Merta villa there was an unhappy incident in which Piety and her mother, two of the guests, had to be hospitalized in Denpasar because of Dengue fever. We were all worried as the disease can be fatal! The staff at the villa, Balinese people, with a huge heart, offered the two guests a lot of moral support. Apart from calling them every day to make sure their condition is getting better, they even went to visit every two days!! Even if it meant driving for 2 hours to get there and back! Plus, at each visit, they would prepare a little bit of food. From the little they have (as most of them earn 4$ a day!), they were willing to share!!

Also, they even organized special ceremonies in which they prayed for the two guests to get better!

One week later, Piety and her mother were well again!

I personally want to thank Charlie, Dayu, Suamba and Made for a great lesson of compassion, caring and good will towards others!!