Being miserable in paradise
The sun outside was shining like a ball of gold. Sounds from the orchestra of birds, frogs and insects in the rice paddies filled the air. Loud laughter and chattering came from the kids playing next door. It all seemed like another day in Bali paradise.
Well, not for me. I literally felt like sh*t. Yeah! Can you imagine?!?
Having total freedom to travel and do whatever I felt like… having the fortune to have a beautiful wife to share the adventures with…having the privilege to live for free in Kubu Merta, a 5 star villa, surrounded by incredible people…and still, I was unhappy!
How is this even possible? Apparently, in my case, I still managed to find things to be unhappy about. Like, not having something to do consistently. Having lived for one month in Ubud, Bali, the magic of exploration disappeared as we had settled in. So I felt I needed something to do longer term. A more constant occupation. I even almost wanted to have a job again!
Looking back, the reason seems quite silly and my approach highly passive. But back then, it was very real for me.
On the bright side, I experienced the hard way the saying: our INSIDE shapes the outside!
And it is not enough to assume that because I am on a dream journey everything will be all roses and bliss without any effort from my side. Because, as I found out, it doesn’t work like this.
There still are difficult times. There are challenges. There are moments of hardship.
And yes! I am solely responsible for the way I feel. And the external world is not going to make me feel better if I do not play my part as well. You can be in paradise and still find things to complain.
And you can be in hell and find things you like.
But…I did get over it. How? The answer is a no brainer, but well…by doing something! Because after several days of just being miserable, I had enough. And decided to take action, instead of bitching and complaining around. (by this time, I had driven Cristina mad as well 
)
And what do you think? Once I stopped being passive, I found plenty of things to do: planning our next trip to India, exploring more of Bali, writing on the blog, finding out more opportunities of creating business, making new friends, etc.
Surprise, surprise! 
Very nice journey of self discovery. And the thing that you have discovered. The responsibility and the potential to influence our way of feeling and perceiving the world is one of the things/lessons I discovered and liked the most. Still working to understand it more thoroughly.
Good luck on your journey (both if you and the people you discover and meet)
Travelling forces you to abandon excuses, just as you leave your unnecessary goods behind. When you don’t have excuses left, you feel the need to resolve everything. But there is no such need.
No matter how good you are, when you don’t see your opponent, the best thing is to move away isn’t it?
So much as you enjoy thinking, if you feel bad and don’t know why, if you feel like you are missing something, just don’t pay too much attention to it.
Are you missing being active,or do you feel uncomfortable in your activities, in both cases, do something you want to do. I mean, far all sake,
not something you think would be good to do, but something you usually like doing. And if even that fails, let life replace it. Get a splash of life in the face. Move, go out, help someone, have someone else’ trouble replace yours.
When i am angry, or gloomy, it can last days, and spoil them. I understand how you feel in you post. I have felt the same in “white heaven beach”, one of the most amazing islands of the planet.
But it went away after a run and a dive. I don’t see that as fleeing. It’s breathing away from you little self. You don’t have to feel ashamed about being gloomy or sad. But you have to disminish its importance.
Think about it: you and i have been raised with so much luxury around, that we place our feelings too high. There are things more important than feelings: nobody is gloomy when they are in danger.
You do have a wonderful wife ,(say hello to her by the way), and are in a country you perceive as very exotic. Good for you. There are people in jail that treasure only a letter.
What that teaches you is that you will always be the only one defining the importance of things for you. It’s not what’s around you that makes you happy. It’s the way you perceive what’s around you.
If your mood will not go away, make someone else feel happy. Just do good around you. The noblelty of your acts will make those clouds fade away when you look back.
There is no feeling more powerful than a pride of good things you have done.
I am not a writer, and don’t mean to offend by teaching a lesson. We are all students of life, and made to help one another.
Enjoy the lessons India will teach you. And please keep sharing your thoughts with us, it’s a way for us all to improve and do good.