Palamariu Family Blog

There is one story which started in Bali and is ongoing at the time being, that we haven’t yet shared with you.

From our blog posts, the reader might have already deciphered that the traveling adventure was more than a trip, was basically an immersion in the Balinese and Indian cultures, in the day to day life or spiritual events.

Back in January, together with our Romanian friends, Valentina and Adi, who have been traveling in South East Asia for two months and arrived home at that point, we started a small project involving collaboration with local people from Bali. But before giving you details about the experience of working with Balinese people, I would like to tell you the story of how the idea of this project was born.

Bali, is a very popular holiday destination, welcoming tourists with its rich ‘holiday package’: great nature scenery,  a very friendly and expressive culture, artistic life, comfortable guest houses and villas, tours and many markets and shops from where to buy souvenirs. Of course, everybody wants to bring something back from Bali, something that will remind about the special moments and the great experiences. Well for our friends and us, the souvenirs were the fisherman pants. Speaking for myself, I was attracted because of their very interesting design and the feeling of freedom they inspired me. [I have read one time that we are buying the feelings and sensations each time we go shopping, but didn’t believe it was true… with these experience I tend to think that it might make sense.]

Valentina and Adi, went back to Romania just before Christmas, with several fisherman pants as presents for family and friends. The receivers liked them so much and even more, they were interested to get various models. With this encouragements and realizing that fisherman pants are liked by our friends as well, even without visiting South East Asia, we started planning the project of creating and sending many different models to Romania.

To create new fisherman pants models, Radu and me, started searching for factories in Bali and got connected with local Balinese people, back in January, when we were living in Kubu Merta community – Ubud. We received great support from Herman, an Indonesian householder of a ten member family (including four kids, parents and some other relatives). He arranged us meetings with different factories, helped us in finding the fabrics and deciding on the color mixes, and made sure we didn’t get tricked.

With this project we basically started understanding better the day to day life in Bali. Everything can be bargained, but also, to obtain a correct price, it’s quite improbable as white person. So far nothing is new, because we covered this in the blog posts at the beginning of our stay in Indonesia. We were very lucky to have Herman discussing directly with factories. What we discovered, with this project, is that Balinese people respect their work and are serious about the results.

During the making process of the pants, we went to visit the factory. We got to know the persons whose hands have worked the pants, as well as we had the chance to check the context and make sure people are not exploited in this process. The owner was very friendly and open to share with us the information about the history of the small factory, the shifts and payment of the workers, she showed us the pants which were ready and also invited us to meet the actually creators of our pants. The basic bahasa Indonesia knowledge helped us to communicate with the workers and ask them permission to take photos. You can imagine this was an exciting visit and I was relieved to see happy, friendly people and correct payment rules. Personally this was one of my main concerns in the making of process…

The second step was to send the pants to Romania . We thought it would be an easy one… but we were not right since there were quite some challenges in our way. Regarding official papers and information to be filled in, Balinese people are not so well skilled; I assumed they don’t understand why it’s so important to have all the details very exact since Indonesia is not so strict about this aspects. Luckily they are humble and friendly people, ready to help you and correct misunderstandings. The process was longer than expected and we became a bit stressed because the date when we supposed to leave Bali was approaching and we had to do so many iterations for the official papers of the transport. Again, tracking the pants was not the smoothest process since we received ambiguous information and just didn’t know what to believe.

When the pants were finally in Romania, even that they arrived with more than one month delay, we celebrated this great achievement!!

As you may imagine, the third step is ongoing – accomplishing the dream: sharing with Romanians, old or new friends, old or new acquaintances a souvenir from the Land of Gods and the results of an exciting intercultural project!

P.S.: The official site, in Romanian, where you can find more details about the models as well as indications on how to wear them is: http://blogu.lu/namaste/

She is Dayu. The head of the staff at Kubu Merta villa.

She earns 70 euro a month. She, as most of the other people in Indonesia, works 6 days a week, gets only one day off…oh, and she has NO holidays! (can you imagine having just Sundays off and working the rest of the year?!?) Her husband, Ketut, is currently unemployed.

As she is pregnant, for her to go and give birth in a hospital (as in Indonesia medical care is not at all free!), it would cost her 300 euros (her salary for 4 months!) Plus there are plenty of ceremonies and offerings the Balinese culture expect from a new mother. Dayu also has to pay for that.

Moreover, Dayu and her husband live in a tiny room, where if two people lie on the floor, the third one would really have to really squeeze in!

But…Dayu is HAPPY! In our 2 and a half month stay in Kubu Merta, I have never seen her down. Nor have I ever heard her complain about anything.

And only once did i see her sad…and it was because her brother had accidentally deleted all her wedding pictures. So she had not one left! But even that…It lasted her just one day. Then she was back to smiling mode.

Obviously, all this really makes my “problems” look significantly smaller. Not to say mere trifles. And gives me little excuse for choosing to complain. And be unhappy about what I have.

Because it is soooo much more than what Dayu has. But she still chooses to smile…and work her way through it.

When we left on our trip, hardly did we know what experiences awaited us. It is not to say that now we feel we know better, but at least we have an idea. And it is quite different than that of a trip of one week or even one month. Thinking back on when I was working and used to take a holiday, I would take at least 2-3 months to plan in detail. Well, a trip for one year can hardly be planned the same way…or you would get biggg headaches.

Why am I thinking of this? Well, because we are just 4 days away from our next destination. And I am a bit melancholic as I reflect on how time has past since we first arrived in Indonesia. It was beginning of November 2009. And our habit of being very procedural with organizing our time, with organizing small trips and meeting different people was sooooo strong. We were on a schedule. Too little things were left to chance. “This is the way we are”, we were thinking back then as we took time before going to sleep to be grateful for all he little things we were experiencing.

But from then until now it seems like years have passed by. And this has a lot to do with our Bali experience. At the beginning, there were 2 weeks in which we wanted just to explore. And this was exactly the prelude in which Bali seduced our senses:
- our sight with the beauty of the landscapes, bright traditional clothing and the shiny smiles on people’s faces
- our hearing with the day and night concert of the gheko and chichak lizards accompanied by the chorus of insects and the sound of the gamelan in ceremony days
- our smell with the powerful aroma of flowers, incense and jungle in the rainy days
- our taste with the delicious foods at Dewa Warung, Mangga Madu, Sari organic and the numerous Padang Warungs

And it was no wonder that, following this, we followed our senses and came back to Bali once again. This time for 2 months. And now, looking back on those months, if I am to reflect on what are the most important memories I will store in my memory luggage, there are certain places, people and experiences that I have already reserved a very special place:

Dewa Warung- the restaurant where we feasted on mouth watering vegetarian meals. And especially the best dessert in the world: the coconut pie!
Our numerous lunches and dinners here were moments of sharing thoughts, emotions, happiness, new discoveries and experiences with travelers all across the world. As there are long tables with benches you are “forced” to stay next to people you do not know. And even if you just want to have a chat with your husband, your neighbor will still start talking to you, ask if you like your food or try to guess your nationality. Plus, almost all the backpackers stop at Dewa if for nothing else, they will buy a coconut pie “bunkus” (take away in Indonesian)

Dewa Warung

The wonder of getting up in the clear morning and taking a walk in the rice paddies. In the distance, you can spot the massive volcanoes at 40 kms away, framing the landscape on both sides, and making you feel really small as you trek off the beaten path.

Rice paddies & mont Agung

The Let Go and Go with the flow feelings. Probably they are not useful in all circumstances, but I sure needed to experience them!

Because in the process of growing up, i had developed preferences for a certain clothes, foods, i had became attached to the things I owned and the places I felt comfortable in. The Let Go feeling offered me a new perspective; it’s quite useful especially when traveling and the sequence of events “discover”, “find the comfort”, “head to a new destination” happens frequently. For me it’s just a new way to manifest my freedom.

Whilst the Go with the flow state of mind taught me that using the system to manifest my dreams is much more relaxing and less energy consuming than when I viciously fight against it. It may be a bit generic, but there are so many practical applications.
Simple example: the rules in Bali traffic. One can overtake on both sides. Honking equals signaling. You are responsible only for what happens in your front so nobody looks behind when changing directions. You need to pay constant attention to motorbikes rushing towards you on your own line as well as the dogs sleeping in the middle of the road. Not to mention the black holes in the asphalt that if you are not careful can swallow you and the bike altogether. Now, of course, you can chose to be frustrated, start honking like crazy or “bless” everybody with a curse (which would probably be normal in Romania), but what good would that be? Just go with the flow!

The thundering waterfall in which we immersed and swam and got hypnotized by how beautiful nature can be.

Waterfall

The pitch black sand beach, as soft as a pillow, with surfers riding the waves.

Black sand beach

The wonderful people we met and the community of friends we built around Kubu Merta villa and with which we organized countless events: salsa lessons, movie nights, jam sessions, laughing yoga, karaoke, full moon party, etc.  (We miss you guys!!)

Elsha and Phil, our lovely hosts, who inspired us with their forever young spirit and their playful way of being, not to mention their incredible life stories.

Reading all this, you can probably imagine why Bali is still on our list for 2010. We are coming back with Radu’s parents in August!!

As for now, we have begun the moral and physical preparation for India!

The sun outside was shining like a ball of gold. Sounds from the orchestra of birds, frogs and insects in the rice paddies filled the air. Loud laughter and chattering came from the kids playing next door. It all seemed like another day in Bali paradise.

Well, not for me. I literally felt like sh*t. Yeah! Can you imagine?!?
Having  total freedom to travel and do whatever I felt like… having the fortune to have a beautiful wife to share the adventures with…having the privilege to live for free in Kubu Merta, a 5 star villa, surrounded by incredible people…and still, I was unhappy!

How is this even possible? Apparently, in my case, I still managed to find things to be unhappy about. Like, not having something to do consistently.  Having lived for one month in Ubud, Bali, the magic of exploration disappeared as we had settled in. So I felt I needed something to do longer term. A more constant occupation.  I even almost wanted to have a job again!

Looking back, the reason seems quite silly and my approach highly passive. But back then, it was very real for me.
On the bright side, I experienced the hard way the saying: our INSIDE shapes the outside!

And it is not enough to assume that because I am on a dream journey everything will be all roses and bliss without any effort from my side. Because, as I found out, it doesn’t work like this.

There still are difficult times. There are challenges. There are moments of hardship.

And yes! I am solely responsible for the way I feel. And the external world is not going to make me feel better if I do not play my part as well. You can be in paradise and still find things to complain.
And you can be in hell and find things you like.

But…I did get over it. How? The answer is a no brainer, but well…by doing something! Because after several days of just being miserable, I had enough. And decided to take action, instead of bitching and complaining around. (by this time, I had driven Cristina mad as well )

And what do you think? Once I stopped being passive, I found plenty of things to do: planning our next trip to India, exploring more of Bali, writing on the blog, finding out more opportunities of creating business, making new friends, etc.

Surprise, surprise! 

For the past days, every morning, we had a special way of starting our day: Laughing out loud! Literally. In the lobby of Kubu Merta villa. For at least 10 minutes. No jokes necessary. Though you do need a lot of openness and willingness to try it out!

And if you don’t believe me, here are some pictures:

“Why?” is a valid question you might ask. Well, because somebody explained to us all the benefits that laughter has on our body. Even if the laughter is fake. It doesn’t matter because our body doesn’t know the difference. Just like when you watch a horror movie you might get scared, even if you know it is just a movie. As the body doesn’t know the difference. The same with laughter. If you laugh, you will feel good, even if there is nothing funny.

How about the benefits of laughing? Looking on the different websites, I especially liked the ones that say that laughing for 15 minutes is the same as going to the gym for an hour because it works a lot of your muscles (especially the abdomen- figure that? getting a 6 pack from laughing).

Also, when we laugh, our brain releases endorphins, the happiness hormones. Again, no matter if the laughter is real or not. And there are studies that prove that laughing for 15 minutes a day has been enough to lift away depression. (have a look here for more scientific tests)

So, with all this in mind, we will certainly be doing it again. It’s too fun to stop. Plus, it is FREE!

How about you? Are you willing to try out laughing out loud for 10 minutes a day?

Until now we have been writing articles about interesting people we met in Bali. But they were mostly foreigners themselves.

Therefore, this blog post will be dedicated solely to local bred and born Balinese people.

Their culture is renowned for its hospitality, living together in communities, spirituality and openness to art; even the simplest bed design has a flower sculptured on the side.

And even more than hospitality and community life, something that deeply impressed me was the dedication with which the Balinese people take care of the people around them. May they be Balinese or even foreign. The moment you begin to have a day to day relationship with a Balinese, he is very likely to consider you as part of his family.

Great example: at Kubu Merta villa there was an unhappy incident in which Piety and her mother, two of the guests, had to be hospitalized in Denpasar because of Dengue fever. We were all worried as the disease can be fatal! The staff at the villa, Balinese people, with a huge heart, offered the two guests a lot of moral support. Apart from calling them every day to make sure their condition is getting better, they even went to visit every two days!! Even if it meant driving for 2 hours to get there and back! Plus, at each visit, they would prepare a little bit of food. From the little they have (as most of them earn 4$ a day!), they were willing to share!!

Also, they even organized special ceremonies in which they prayed for the two guests to get better!

One week later, Piety and her mother were well again!

I personally want to thank Charlie, Dayu, Suamba and Made for a great lesson of compassion, caring and good will towards others!!

Unlike the other years, this Christmas was a very special one. Why? Because this year I had the chance to change the myth I used to believe in: that Christmas feels like Christmas only if it is cold outside, if I spent at least 2 weeks preparing presents and only if I spend it in Alba Iulia.

It turns out that you can be filled with Christmas spirit even if you are in Bali, at 28 degrees and with no presents bought. As Santa Claus was here, spreading his magic over the Christmas trees:

Also, carols filled the air for hours in the Kubu Merta villa. People of different nationalities: Indonesians, Americans, Romanians, Spanish, Czech, Dutch, Indians, Germans, Australians accompanied by the harmonium and tabla drums we sang our hearts out. Not only that, but we also had a salsa lesson, thanks to Obed.

And, as the old tradition goes, we started going from house to house to sing carols…on Skype!! What a feeling: parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents and friends, welcomed us and sang with us, each with their own unique carols.

Moreover, since Christmas is the celebration of Jesus birth, the spiritual side could not be missing. Therefore, we even had a Christmas service at the villa. Father Terry conducted a wonderful mass for a handful of Christians: Barbara, Phil, Elsha, Herman, Nula, myself and Radu.

So…we are very grateful for a happy and fulfilling Christmas! We certainly won’t ever forget it!

You might be wondering why we have been so quiet on the blog in the last week. I am going to reveal the mystery: we have been exploring the artistic side that hides in our psychologist and engineer soul.

Given the fact we live in Ubud, a small town in Bali world renown for its artistic life, we knew that sooner or later we had to draw our attention towards art. And it all started with the coming of Menno and his djembes in Kubu Merta. Since then, there has been no day without music!
The visitors and even the staff in the villa are drawn by the djembes like a magnet!

Menno was also our teacher, explaining to us how to use the drums, as well as sharing with us the story of how they are built. We had several improv evenings in which we left ourselves carried away by the rhythm and the joy of the sounds and beats. It was great to notice how, after a while, counting the beats for a certain piece harmonized with feeling the rhythm and coordinating the hands!

As Kubu Merta welcomes professional drummers as well as beginners, 3 days before Christmas we had a jam session in which everybody was involved. Some pictures are available here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/CristinaSiRadu/SikhPerformanceAtKubuMerta#

Aside from music, we have also been exploring trash art: creating objects out of waste and decorating them! Together with Anna and Esther, we created Christmas decorations out plastic bottles, carton and lids. Our art was exposed in the lobby of the villa and admired by the visitors, as well as participants in the Christmas party. You can see it here: http://picasaweb.google.com/CristinaSiRadu/TrashArtWorkshop#

Remaining in the domain of painting, we also participated to a highly successful exhibition by Manacika Art Gallery, with the paintings of Indonesian painter Nanang Lugonto. Nanang also gave a demonstration in which he created on the spot the painting of one of the dancers who was performing on stage traditional Balinese moves.
More pictures here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/CristinaSiRadu/ManacikaPaintingExhibition#

All these artistic activities enriched and embellished my heart! Looking forward to our next experiences of this type!

Has it ever happened to you to realise that you surround yourself with the same type of people?
Or that sometimes you do most of your activities with a small group of good friends?

Probably a lot of us would answer Yes to at least one of the questions.
And that is not necessarily bad.
But, as we travel and meet so many people every day, I realised what a fulfilling experience it is to have diverse people from all age groups and backgrounds on your friends list.
Because with each new person we meet, we enlarge our perspectives, options, come in contact with another world that we might not have been aware of…

And to give you some practical examples, here a just a very few of the people we met and deeply broadened our horizons:

Elsha, a trash artist and gallery owner in Honolulu, sold everything and moved to Bali for a new beginning, 68. Elsha is amazing in terms of celebrating and enjoying life, taking joy in little things and being constantly creative. Plus, what fascinated us is her openness to learn! Even at her age, she is constantly asking questions. Unlike a lot of other people her age who already have a lot of certainties.

Phil, psychiatrist, 75.  He taught us how to be grateful and appreciate what we were given in our life. Phil is also great
at seeing the good in people and letting them know about it. He taught us not to take the great things that others do !for granted and to say Thank you! a lot more.

Shakar, owner of Tibetan Art galleries in Ubud, 28- Shakar opened our minds to the possibility of setting up a business. Also, we found out from him about the option of having homes in different places. He lives for 6 months in Ubud, Bali, 2-3 in New York, and the rest of the time he travels around the world.

Menno, life-long traveler, 45. He has had 60+ jobs in his life. From being a blacksmith to growing plants, from fisherman to making knives, from playing the jembes to
selling jewelry, he has done them all! Talking to Menno is like opening a practical encyclopedia of how to do almost anything!

Tim Draper, photographer, 36. While working for Rough Guides, Tim has been constanly traveling and changing countries for the past 4 years. He shared with us about the pluses and minuses of living on the road. He also shared the greatest learning he got: to trust people and have faith in them. No matter their relligion! No matter their skin colour. Because most people are good and will give you a helping hand.

Recognizing the diversity of the people listed, you can begin to imagine how many things we had missed out on had we not encountered them.
And sometimes, when we go out and surround ourselves with the same kind of people, that is exactly what we do.
We keep ourselves closed from a lot of other possibilities. And that is a bit a pity, isn’t it?

But because today there are so many options to change that and meet diverse people, as soon as we realise this, we can do something about it.
Yes, I agree it might be easier to do it while traveling. But there are so many ways of doing it even from home.
Use CouchSurfing to find the local CSers. Or use Facebook to find some interesting groups you can join. Or simply go to a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with a stranger that looks interesting.
And be curious about what will come out of it…

Healer blessing water

Happy smiley people, with flowers in their hair…temples popping up like mushrooms after the rain in almost each household…daily offerings to the Gods…mystical ceremonies, trance dances and holy mantras…experiencing all this, who would say that Bali is not a mystical place?

But even more, because of Elsha, we had the opportunity to get in touch with another side of Bali mysticism: the healers!

Now, they could not be more different that western doctors. Bali healers rely in their practice mostly on direct connection with God. Most of them live a simple life, meditate and make sure they think good thoughts to keep the connection.
This way they get guidance and know exactly what herbs and oilments to give to their patients.

And the results they seem to get are quite amazing!
Herman, Elsha’s neighbour, had his pelvis bone broken. After going to a healer, he could walk again.
Issac had totally shattered his hand in a bike accident, breaking the bones in five places. He went to a healer who put the bones back in place and gave him a special oil to rub his hand. In 2 days!! he could use it again.

While I was still very skeptical, as I heard all these stories, I thought to try it out myself. So that I could have a more objective opinion.
Therefore, together with Elsha and Phil, I went to Agun, a healer who is able to get in direct contact with the Gods and use their energy to help people. He can also ask the Gods on any question or problem you may have.

So, especially since it was not easy to reach the healer, as they are not commercial and somebody from the village needs to take you to them, I was looking forward to the encounter.

“How is my health?” was my first question.
“You sometimes have a stomach ache because you eat too late in the evening”, came the answer.
True, but pretty general. How many people out there get stomach aches when they eat late?

So, not convinced, i continued: “Can you ask the Gods about my emotional well being?”
“You should relax more”, Agun slowly told me. “You want to do too many things in a very short time. The Gods suggest you should take it easier.”
Now, this was quite accurate. I do want to do a lot of stuff and sometimes get stressed. But it is also general. How many other people in western societies do that?

So, I asked one more question: “How is my parents health?”
“Your father has problems with his stomach when he is stressed and he cannot sleep. And your mother has ticklish feet because of circulation problems. She also sometimes has waterish eyes”
And, as I later found out upon asking my parents, the answer was quite accurate again. And this time, also much more specific.

As it was getting quite late, I had to stop with the questions.

But one thing is for sure: I am now more likely to believe that stories about some of the healers in Bali are true. And that some of them can connect to some sort of energy (or God! Or whatever way you want to call it) and use it to heal and help people.

PS. If you had any similar experiences, feel free to leave a comment.