Palamariu Family Blog

She is Dayu. The head of the staff at Kubu Merta villa.

She earns 70 euro a month. She, as most of the other people in Indonesia, works 6 days a week, gets only one day off…oh, and she has NO holidays! (can you imagine having just Sundays off and working the rest of the year?!?) Her husband, Ketut, is currently unemployed.

As she is pregnant, for her to go and give birth in a hospital (as in Indonesia medical care is not at all free!), it would cost her 300 euros (her salary for 4 months!) Plus there are plenty of ceremonies and offerings the Balinese culture expect from a new mother. Dayu also has to pay for that.

Moreover, Dayu and her husband live in a tiny room, where if two people lie on the floor, the third one would really have to really squeeze in!

But…Dayu is HAPPY! In our 2 and a half month stay in Kubu Merta, I have never seen her down. Nor have I ever heard her complain about anything.

And only once did i see her sad…and it was because her brother had accidentally deleted all her wedding pictures. So she had not one left! But even that…It lasted her just one day. Then she was back to smiling mode.

Obviously, all this really makes my “problems” look significantly smaller. Not to say mere trifles. And gives me little excuse for choosing to complain. And be unhappy about what I have.

Because it is soooo much more than what Dayu has. But she still chooses to smile…and work her way through it.

The sun outside was shining like a ball of gold. Sounds from the orchestra of birds, frogs and insects in the rice paddies filled the air. Loud laughter and chattering came from the kids playing next door. It all seemed like another day in Bali paradise.

Well, not for me. I literally felt like sh*t. Yeah! Can you imagine?!?
Having  total freedom to travel and do whatever I felt like… having the fortune to have a beautiful wife to share the adventures with…having the privilege to live for free in Kubu Merta, a 5 star villa, surrounded by incredible people…and still, I was unhappy!

How is this even possible? Apparently, in my case, I still managed to find things to be unhappy about. Like, not having something to do consistently.  Having lived for one month in Ubud, Bali, the magic of exploration disappeared as we had settled in. So I felt I needed something to do longer term. A more constant occupation.  I even almost wanted to have a job again!

Looking back, the reason seems quite silly and my approach highly passive. But back then, it was very real for me.
On the bright side, I experienced the hard way the saying: our INSIDE shapes the outside!

And it is not enough to assume that because I am on a dream journey everything will be all roses and bliss without any effort from my side. Because, as I found out, it doesn’t work like this.

There still are difficult times. There are challenges. There are moments of hardship.

And yes! I am solely responsible for the way I feel. And the external world is not going to make me feel better if I do not play my part as well. You can be in paradise and still find things to complain.
And you can be in hell and find things you like.

But…I did get over it. How? The answer is a no brainer, but well…by doing something! Because after several days of just being miserable, I had enough. And decided to take action, instead of bitching and complaining around. (by this time, I had driven Cristina mad as well )

And what do you think? Once I stopped being passive, I found plenty of things to do: planning our next trip to India, exploring more of Bali, writing on the blog, finding out more opportunities of creating business, making new friends, etc.

Surprise, surprise!