Palamariu Family Blog

There is one story which started in Bali and is ongoing at the time being, that we haven’t yet shared with you.

From our blog posts, the reader might have already deciphered that the traveling adventure was more than a trip, was basically an immersion in the Balinese and Indian cultures, in the day to day life or spiritual events.

Back in January, together with our Romanian friends, Valentina and Adi, who have been traveling in South East Asia for two months and arrived home at that point, we started a small project involving collaboration with local people from Bali. But before giving you details about the experience of working with Balinese people, I would like to tell you the story of how the idea of this project was born.

Bali, is a very popular holiday destination, welcoming tourists with its rich ‘holiday package’: great nature scenery,  a very friendly and expressive culture, artistic life, comfortable guest houses and villas, tours and many markets and shops from where to buy souvenirs. Of course, everybody wants to bring something back from Bali, something that will remind about the special moments and the great experiences. Well for our friends and us, the souvenirs were the fisherman pants. Speaking for myself, I was attracted because of their very interesting design and the feeling of freedom they inspired me. [I have read one time that we are buying the feelings and sensations each time we go shopping, but didn’t believe it was true… with these experience I tend to think that it might make sense.]

Valentina and Adi, went back to Romania just before Christmas, with several fisherman pants as presents for family and friends. The receivers liked them so much and even more, they were interested to get various models. With this encouragements and realizing that fisherman pants are liked by our friends as well, even without visiting South East Asia, we started planning the project of creating and sending many different models to Romania.

To create new fisherman pants models, Radu and me, started searching for factories in Bali and got connected with local Balinese people, back in January, when we were living in Kubu Merta community – Ubud. We received great support from Herman, an Indonesian householder of a ten member family (including four kids, parents and some other relatives). He arranged us meetings with different factories, helped us in finding the fabrics and deciding on the color mixes, and made sure we didn’t get tricked.

With this project we basically started understanding better the day to day life in Bali. Everything can be bargained, but also, to obtain a correct price, it’s quite improbable as white person. So far nothing is new, because we covered this in the blog posts at the beginning of our stay in Indonesia. We were very lucky to have Herman discussing directly with factories. What we discovered, with this project, is that Balinese people respect their work and are serious about the results.

During the making process of the pants, we went to visit the factory. We got to know the persons whose hands have worked the pants, as well as we had the chance to check the context and make sure people are not exploited in this process. The owner was very friendly and open to share with us the information about the history of the small factory, the shifts and payment of the workers, she showed us the pants which were ready and also invited us to meet the actually creators of our pants. The basic bahasa Indonesia knowledge helped us to communicate with the workers and ask them permission to take photos. You can imagine this was an exciting visit and I was relieved to see happy, friendly people and correct payment rules. Personally this was one of my main concerns in the making of process…

The second step was to send the pants to Romania . We thought it would be an easy one… but we were not right since there were quite some challenges in our way. Regarding official papers and information to be filled in, Balinese people are not so well skilled; I assumed they don’t understand why it’s so important to have all the details very exact since Indonesia is not so strict about this aspects. Luckily they are humble and friendly people, ready to help you and correct misunderstandings. The process was longer than expected and we became a bit stressed because the date when we supposed to leave Bali was approaching and we had to do so many iterations for the official papers of the transport. Again, tracking the pants was not the smoothest process since we received ambiguous information and just didn’t know what to believe.

When the pants were finally in Romania, even that they arrived with more than one month delay, we celebrated this great achievement!!

As you may imagine, the third step is ongoing – accomplishing the dream: sharing with Romanians, old or new friends, old or new acquaintances a souvenir from the Land of Gods and the results of an exciting intercultural project!

P.S.: The official site, in Romanian, where you can find more details about the models as well as indications on how to wear them is: http://blogu.lu/namaste/

“Tomorrow we are going to Deepak’s family!” Cristina tells me with great enthusiasm in her voice. Deepak is a good Indian friend of hers from the time she was studying in Brest. And, even if he is not currently in Delhi, he insisted that we go and see his family.

So, the next day, we take a rickshaw taxi and set out through a horrendous Delhi traffic to have an authentic experience of Indian hospitality. Though, hardly had we known how deep it can be.

“Welcome! We are sooo happy to meet you!” Deepak’s brother Monik was quick to greet us when we finally arrived at their place, having spent more than two hours in an insane Delhi traffic. Very quickly, we got introduced to all the family: Deepak’s father and mother, Monik’s wife, Nitty, and their two lovely children.

Hardly had we sat down and Nitty was already very fast to start bringing several delicious goodies on the table. “Take a little bit of everything!” Deepak’s father encouraged us.

Having filled up our plate, we proceeded to savour the mouth watering taste of Indian snacks. Wooooaw! It was a treat to remember!

And just as we finished and were already pretty full, Deepak’s father announced: “And very soon Nitty will bring dinner. “

“What? There is more?!?” myself and Cristina were thinking, feeling our stuffed up stomachs.

Deepak’s father continued “You really need to try the food as Nitty took the afternoon off from work especially to prepare it”.

This was just the first moment when we realised how much these people had gone through to welcome us in their home.

What followed was the most amazing dinner we have had in our life. Homemade Raita, Chappatti, Panner, Potatoes and some more dishes that I do not know the name of followed.

Needless to say, we were overwhelmed.

And Monik was always on stand by, filling up our plates the moment we were close to finishing what we had.

And when we left, they had yet another surprise. They had prepared gifts: a sari for Cristina, a silver coin that had been in their family for generations, a Krishna flute and box of sweets. And they also would not allow us to pay for the taxi back home.

Moreover, even after all this, when we felt quite overwhelmed and we could not stop saying ‘Thank you! Thank you so much!” they were still insisting: “It was nothing! As part of our culture, this is what we need to do for our guests!”

Between Bali and India, Singapore found his practical useful place. It’s quite handy to have such an organized and uncorrupted place so easy accessible from all the points of South East Asia. In Singapore we arranged our visas for India, which are harder to get than we initially imagined.

Of course, besides the administrative part of our traveling adventures, we enjoyed the company of friends. We had several board games nights, movie night at Vani’s place, Egyptian day with Yasmine. In few words, Singapore was a good relaxing preamble before India.

Moreover, we experienced Chinese New Year and its cultural side. As for other cultural events like Deepavali, Christmas, New Year etc., Singapore dressed up with lights and Chinese symbols for entering the year of Tiger. Since this is an important event celebrated by 70% of people living in Singapore, 2 days were declared public holiday; that made a 4 day weekend for Singaporeans.

The first day of the year is celebrated in very different ways by the nationalities living in Singapore. Malay, Filipinos, Indians, white people (everybody except the Chinese) filled out the parks along the sea side camping, picnicking and riding bikes or rollerblading. It looked like a 1st May celebration in Romania. I want to make a short parenthesis here: being such a small country, Singapore doesn’t have rural areas or wild nature, but it has huge parks (10+ km2). Therefore, for spending some time in the nature, people camp in the parks in the most organized way possible, being at maximum 1h by bus away from their homes.

For Chinese people, the new day of the year is celebrated together with the family – with parents’ siblings, grandparents and cousins. It’s a day when Chinese wearing very fancy clothes visit and spend time, catching up with their extended families. It reminded me about Christmas because of the family reunion, but also Easter because it was so warm outside and people shown off their best clothes from their wardrobe.

At a personal level, we had some time to evaluate Indonesia experience and its meaning but also the learning it provided us with. It’s quite interesting what we came up with: Radu sees us back to Singapore when finishing our travelings and myself I’m more and more attracted by the idea of starting a PHD in September… maybe in Singapore

When we left on our trip, hardly did we know what experiences awaited us. It is not to say that now we feel we know better, but at least we have an idea. And it is quite different than that of a trip of one week or even one month. Thinking back on when I was working and used to take a holiday, I would take at least 2-3 months to plan in detail. Well, a trip for one year can hardly be planned the same way…or you would get biggg headaches.

Why am I thinking of this? Well, because we are just 4 days away from our next destination. And I am a bit melancholic as I reflect on how time has past since we first arrived in Indonesia. It was beginning of November 2009. And our habit of being very procedural with organizing our time, with organizing small trips and meeting different people was sooooo strong. We were on a schedule. Too little things were left to chance. “This is the way we are”, we were thinking back then as we took time before going to sleep to be grateful for all he little things we were experiencing.

But from then until now it seems like years have passed by. And this has a lot to do with our Bali experience. At the beginning, there were 2 weeks in which we wanted just to explore. And this was exactly the prelude in which Bali seduced our senses:
- our sight with the beauty of the landscapes, bright traditional clothing and the shiny smiles on people’s faces
- our hearing with the day and night concert of the gheko and chichak lizards accompanied by the chorus of insects and the sound of the gamelan in ceremony days
- our smell with the powerful aroma of flowers, incense and jungle in the rainy days
- our taste with the delicious foods at Dewa Warung, Mangga Madu, Sari organic and the numerous Padang Warungs

And it was no wonder that, following this, we followed our senses and came back to Bali once again. This time for 2 months. And now, looking back on those months, if I am to reflect on what are the most important memories I will store in my memory luggage, there are certain places, people and experiences that I have already reserved a very special place:

Dewa Warung- the restaurant where we feasted on mouth watering vegetarian meals. And especially the best dessert in the world: the coconut pie!
Our numerous lunches and dinners here were moments of sharing thoughts, emotions, happiness, new discoveries and experiences with travelers all across the world. As there are long tables with benches you are “forced” to stay next to people you do not know. And even if you just want to have a chat with your husband, your neighbor will still start talking to you, ask if you like your food or try to guess your nationality. Plus, almost all the backpackers stop at Dewa if for nothing else, they will buy a coconut pie “bunkus” (take away in Indonesian)

Dewa Warung

The wonder of getting up in the clear morning and taking a walk in the rice paddies. In the distance, you can spot the massive volcanoes at 40 kms away, framing the landscape on both sides, and making you feel really small as you trek off the beaten path.

Rice paddies & mont Agung

The Let Go and Go with the flow feelings. Probably they are not useful in all circumstances, but I sure needed to experience them!

Because in the process of growing up, i had developed preferences for a certain clothes, foods, i had became attached to the things I owned and the places I felt comfortable in. The Let Go feeling offered me a new perspective; it’s quite useful especially when traveling and the sequence of events “discover”, “find the comfort”, “head to a new destination” happens frequently. For me it’s just a new way to manifest my freedom.

Whilst the Go with the flow state of mind taught me that using the system to manifest my dreams is much more relaxing and less energy consuming than when I viciously fight against it. It may be a bit generic, but there are so many practical applications.
Simple example: the rules in Bali traffic. One can overtake on both sides. Honking equals signaling. You are responsible only for what happens in your front so nobody looks behind when changing directions. You need to pay constant attention to motorbikes rushing towards you on your own line as well as the dogs sleeping in the middle of the road. Not to mention the black holes in the asphalt that if you are not careful can swallow you and the bike altogether. Now, of course, you can chose to be frustrated, start honking like crazy or “bless” everybody with a curse (which would probably be normal in Romania), but what good would that be? Just go with the flow!

The thundering waterfall in which we immersed and swam and got hypnotized by how beautiful nature can be.

Waterfall

The pitch black sand beach, as soft as a pillow, with surfers riding the waves.

Black sand beach

The wonderful people we met and the community of friends we built around Kubu Merta villa and with which we organized countless events: salsa lessons, movie nights, jam sessions, laughing yoga, karaoke, full moon party, etc.  (We miss you guys!!)

Elsha and Phil, our lovely hosts, who inspired us with their forever young spirit and their playful way of being, not to mention their incredible life stories.

Reading all this, you can probably imagine why Bali is still on our list for 2010. We are coming back with Radu’s parents in August!!

As for now, we have begun the moral and physical preparation for India!

Unlike the other years, this Christmas was a very special one. Why? Because this year I had the chance to change the myth I used to believe in: that Christmas feels like Christmas only if it is cold outside, if I spent at least 2 weeks preparing presents and only if I spend it in Alba Iulia.

It turns out that you can be filled with Christmas spirit even if you are in Bali, at 28 degrees and with no presents bought. As Santa Claus was here, spreading his magic over the Christmas trees:

Also, carols filled the air for hours in the Kubu Merta villa. People of different nationalities: Indonesians, Americans, Romanians, Spanish, Czech, Dutch, Indians, Germans, Australians accompanied by the harmonium and tabla drums we sang our hearts out. Not only that, but we also had a salsa lesson, thanks to Obed.

And, as the old tradition goes, we started going from house to house to sing carols…on Skype!! What a feeling: parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents and friends, welcomed us and sang with us, each with their own unique carols.

Moreover, since Christmas is the celebration of Jesus birth, the spiritual side could not be missing. Therefore, we even had a Christmas service at the villa. Father Terry conducted a wonderful mass for a handful of Christians: Barbara, Phil, Elsha, Herman, Nula, myself and Radu.

So…we are very grateful for a happy and fulfilling Christmas! We certainly won’t ever forget it!

Has it ever happened to you to realise that you surround yourself with the same type of people?
Or that sometimes you do most of your activities with a small group of good friends?

Probably a lot of us would answer Yes to at least one of the questions.
And that is not necessarily bad.
But, as we travel and meet so many people every day, I realised what a fulfilling experience it is to have diverse people from all age groups and backgrounds on your friends list.
Because with each new person we meet, we enlarge our perspectives, options, come in contact with another world that we might not have been aware of…

And to give you some practical examples, here a just a very few of the people we met and deeply broadened our horizons:

Elsha, a trash artist and gallery owner in Honolulu, sold everything and moved to Bali for a new beginning, 68. Elsha is amazing in terms of celebrating and enjoying life, taking joy in little things and being constantly creative. Plus, what fascinated us is her openness to learn! Even at her age, she is constantly asking questions. Unlike a lot of other people her age who already have a lot of certainties.

Phil, psychiatrist, 75.  He taught us how to be grateful and appreciate what we were given in our life. Phil is also great
at seeing the good in people and letting them know about it. He taught us not to take the great things that others do !for granted and to say Thank you! a lot more.

Shakar, owner of Tibetan Art galleries in Ubud, 28- Shakar opened our minds to the possibility of setting up a business. Also, we found out from him about the option of having homes in different places. He lives for 6 months in Ubud, Bali, 2-3 in New York, and the rest of the time he travels around the world.

Menno, life-long traveler, 45. He has had 60+ jobs in his life. From being a blacksmith to growing plants, from fisherman to making knives, from playing the jembes to
selling jewelry, he has done them all! Talking to Menno is like opening a practical encyclopedia of how to do almost anything!

Tim Draper, photographer, 36. While working for Rough Guides, Tim has been constanly traveling and changing countries for the past 4 years. He shared with us about the pluses and minuses of living on the road. He also shared the greatest learning he got: to trust people and have faith in them. No matter their relligion! No matter their skin colour. Because most people are good and will give you a helping hand.

Recognizing the diversity of the people listed, you can begin to imagine how many things we had missed out on had we not encountered them.
And sometimes, when we go out and surround ourselves with the same kind of people, that is exactly what we do.
We keep ourselves closed from a lot of other possibilities. And that is a bit a pity, isn’t it?

But because today there are so many options to change that and meet diverse people, as soon as we realise this, we can do something about it.
Yes, I agree it might be easier to do it while traveling. But there are so many ways of doing it even from home.
Use CouchSurfing to find the local CSers. Or use Facebook to find some interesting groups you can join. Or simply go to a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with a stranger that looks interesting.
And be curious about what will come out of it…

As we left Lombok Island having had plenty of wonderful experiences, we got to Bali with the expectation that it can only be at least as good. And so far, it sure turns out to be like it!

We are currently staying in Ubud, the cultural and spiritual center of Bali, at Kubu Merta Guest House. It is a very special place, ran by Elsha and Phil, an American couple who had moved in from Hawai!  They are two special people, very young in spirit (even if they are in their seventies), who currently use the Guest House to host Couch Surfers!

Just to give you an idea, here are some pictures:

Yes, I know! It is like heaven! And what was even funnier was that, before coming to Bali, Radu was telling me that he would go to a 5 star hotel to ask for free accommodation. And now, at Kubu Merta, even if we hardly expected it, we HAVE it!

Also, one other great thing: we are currently 11 couch surfers here. An international community in its own right, with people who share the passion to travel and experience new cultures.

And also, because of Elsha, who is an artist and a very creative person, we even did a painting workshop together. On chairs!

Before, I never imagined that a chair can be a work of art! But know I know it is possible. Not to mention the process was incredibly fun. Each of us got to bring our contribution. With no plan. Just a flow of creativity. Somebody drew a circle. Then somebody else added some colourful tiny dots. And the more creative we got, the most ideas starting flowing!

And the result of mixing creativities rooted in different cultures:

“Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time” – This is the tag line you will find on CouchSurfing home page.

And even if I have been a member for only one week now, I am more and more convinced the tag line is nothing but true.

As we are planning to use CouchSurfing extensively during our next one year of travels, I thought of listing down some of the other advantages of CS:

- it is safe! (members can get their identity and address verified, you can check what references they have from other travelers,  who are their friends, etc)

- it is a niche network of people interested in building meaningful connections across cultures. Most of the members have both surfed on other people’s couches, as well as hosted CS-ers themselves. It is a very rewarding  give and take!

- you have a chance to meet some extraordinary people.
Just to list some of the profiles:
Meindert Bars (check out the pictures on his website!)
Klaus Wieman
Maria Renner

So, when are you starting CouchSurfing?
If you have done it already, share with us your story!