Palamariu Family Blog

Vipassana means “insight” in the ancient Pali language of India. It represents the essence of the teaching of the Buddha who seems to have become enlighten through this type of meditation.

Vipassana is based on observing ourselves, the sensations we have in our body and the mental reaction to them, in order to discover reality directly and deal with it in a positive and creative way.

Vipassana meditation is taught in course of 10 days. During these days participants remain within the area of the course site, having no contact with the outside world. For the entire period of the course participants are required to respect a code of morality: celibacy, abstention from intoxicants, keeping noble silence, no lies in the subscription papers or to teachers and assistants, abstention from writing, reading and from eating extra food besides the meals offered by the meditation centre.

Before giving you more details about the 10 days, I want to detail some more what “noble silence” means. This silence means no talking to the other participants at this course in a verbal or non-verbal way; it is recommended to avoid even eye contact with the other participants.  And the 10^th day, when we broke the silence, we understood that this rule was very helpful. Each of us experience Vipassana in a very different personal way which sometimes brings up emotions and struggles; it would have been even more difficult to continue with the meditation if doubts and other person’s struggles would have overcame one’s personal challenges. The silence was noble because we did talk when we had good reasons, but with teachers and assistants. We were encouraged to participate to interviews with the teachers for any clarifications regarding the technique and to talk with the assistants in order to solve administrative issues. Also we were free to express our emotions (crying, laughing…) as long as we didn’t involve other participants into this. I did burst into 15 minutes laughing twice during breaks … mostly because I was tired and this is the way my mind behaves in these conditions.

The schedule is busy, so one doesn’t have time to get bored during the meditation course. We followed the daily time table of a monk: getting up at 4.00am, meditate for 10h30’, listen Goenka’s (the fondator of the centre) discourse for 1h30’, no meal after 12.00am (except for tea and fruits around 17.00pm) and go to bed before 9.30pm. Getting up at 4.00am was difficult for me only the first 2 days, then I even woke up before the bell rang. If you think there is not enough food, you’ll notice even from the first day that you are wrong. When you don’t do physical activity, you don’t really need to eat so much and both breakfast and lunch were very consistent.

The experience of 10 days Vipassana meditation is likely to contain some surprises for the participants. One of the first surprises is that meditation is not really an easy work. Many of us may have the impression that meditation is some sort of inactivity and relaxation, but in fact the mind is working pretty hard to get focused and especially to maintain the focus especially the first days; after the first 3 days, the effort doesn’t seem so big any more. Also, by this technique of observation, we get to see ourselves from different angles with pleasant and blissful characteristics but also with some aspects which don’t represent our most pleasing expression; it can be a surprise to see yourself that way – it was for me!! And one of the biggest surprises is that difficulties of the technique, of the schedule or of accepting the insights, they all pass away. At some point the mind becomes calm, the discipline seems to be a helpful tool and the heavy schedule doesn’t seem so heavy anymore.

This experience brought us several realizations which make our life happier and more peaceful… and we like to think we are wiser, but that remains to be observed in the future

We liked very much the fact that no one tried to convince us to become Buddhist, that the technique was explained in a scientific, non-sectarian way and that this course was really on donation basis. All the facilities were covered by the donations of participants from previous courses and we were free to donate whatever amount of money and only if we stayed until the end of the course. They only told us once about donations during the 10 days; by donating or not we took the responsibility for this course to continue or not which I perceived as a very sincere attitude without any manipulation.

I would recommend to anyone to try at least once this meditation course (out of curiosity, as I have done it)! I think it’s an experience worth trying!

When we left on our trip, hardly did we know what experiences awaited us. It is not to say that now we feel we know better, but at least we have an idea. And it is quite different than that of a trip of one week or even one month. Thinking back on when I was working and used to take a holiday, I would take at least 2-3 months to plan in detail. Well, a trip for one year can hardly be planned the same way…or you would get biggg headaches.

Why am I thinking of this? Well, because we are just 4 days away from our next destination. And I am a bit melancholic as I reflect on how time has past since we first arrived in Indonesia. It was beginning of November 2009. And our habit of being very procedural with organizing our time, with organizing small trips and meeting different people was sooooo strong. We were on a schedule. Too little things were left to chance. “This is the way we are”, we were thinking back then as we took time before going to sleep to be grateful for all he little things we were experiencing.

But from then until now it seems like years have passed by. And this has a lot to do with our Bali experience. At the beginning, there were 2 weeks in which we wanted just to explore. And this was exactly the prelude in which Bali seduced our senses:
- our sight with the beauty of the landscapes, bright traditional clothing and the shiny smiles on people’s faces
- our hearing with the day and night concert of the gheko and chichak lizards accompanied by the chorus of insects and the sound of the gamelan in ceremony days
- our smell with the powerful aroma of flowers, incense and jungle in the rainy days
- our taste with the delicious foods at Dewa Warung, Mangga Madu, Sari organic and the numerous Padang Warungs

And it was no wonder that, following this, we followed our senses and came back to Bali once again. This time for 2 months. And now, looking back on those months, if I am to reflect on what are the most important memories I will store in my memory luggage, there are certain places, people and experiences that I have already reserved a very special place:

Dewa Warung- the restaurant where we feasted on mouth watering vegetarian meals. And especially the best dessert in the world: the coconut pie!
Our numerous lunches and dinners here were moments of sharing thoughts, emotions, happiness, new discoveries and experiences with travelers all across the world. As there are long tables with benches you are “forced” to stay next to people you do not know. And even if you just want to have a chat with your husband, your neighbor will still start talking to you, ask if you like your food or try to guess your nationality. Plus, almost all the backpackers stop at Dewa if for nothing else, they will buy a coconut pie “bunkus” (take away in Indonesian)

Dewa Warung

The wonder of getting up in the clear morning and taking a walk in the rice paddies. In the distance, you can spot the massive volcanoes at 40 kms away, framing the landscape on both sides, and making you feel really small as you trek off the beaten path.

Rice paddies & mont Agung

The Let Go and Go with the flow feelings. Probably they are not useful in all circumstances, but I sure needed to experience them!

Because in the process of growing up, i had developed preferences for a certain clothes, foods, i had became attached to the things I owned and the places I felt comfortable in. The Let Go feeling offered me a new perspective; it’s quite useful especially when traveling and the sequence of events “discover”, “find the comfort”, “head to a new destination” happens frequently. For me it’s just a new way to manifest my freedom.

Whilst the Go with the flow state of mind taught me that using the system to manifest my dreams is much more relaxing and less energy consuming than when I viciously fight against it. It may be a bit generic, but there are so many practical applications.
Simple example: the rules in Bali traffic. One can overtake on both sides. Honking equals signaling. You are responsible only for what happens in your front so nobody looks behind when changing directions. You need to pay constant attention to motorbikes rushing towards you on your own line as well as the dogs sleeping in the middle of the road. Not to mention the black holes in the asphalt that if you are not careful can swallow you and the bike altogether. Now, of course, you can chose to be frustrated, start honking like crazy or “bless” everybody with a curse (which would probably be normal in Romania), but what good would that be? Just go with the flow!

The thundering waterfall in which we immersed and swam and got hypnotized by how beautiful nature can be.

Waterfall

The pitch black sand beach, as soft as a pillow, with surfers riding the waves.

Black sand beach

The wonderful people we met and the community of friends we built around Kubu Merta villa and with which we organized countless events: salsa lessons, movie nights, jam sessions, laughing yoga, karaoke, full moon party, etc.  (We miss you guys!!)

Elsha and Phil, our lovely hosts, who inspired us with their forever young spirit and their playful way of being, not to mention their incredible life stories.

Reading all this, you can probably imagine why Bali is still on our list for 2010. We are coming back with Radu’s parents in August!!

As for now, we have begun the moral and physical preparation for India!

If you are white, you are in the centre of attention. People look at you with curiosity, appreciation and especially the interest to sell you something. They are very friendly (even too friendly for what an European would be used to). When you walk on the street, almost everybody says “Hello!!” and smiles broadly.

Also, when it comes to business, everything has a tax on “skin colour” . White people can be charged even 10 times more. Auchhhhh! If you bargain, you may be lucky enough to only pay twice as much as the normal price.

In terms of the culture of Indonesian people, it is very much rooted in the present. They live only in the moment. So much as they have no past or future tense. And this can be easily noticed in their day to day life. They do not plan. Even in small things, like filling their tank with petrol. They tend to do it on the last minute. Just before running out of gas. And sometimes it is too late. That’s why you can sometimes see people pushing their motorbikes on the side of the road until the next gas station. In Indonesia, this is called taking your bike for a walk!

Moreover, since Indonesia is after all the biggest Muslim country in the world, the dream of most people is to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca and become a Haji. Being a Haji is a social status. As important as becoming a “sir” in England. Therefore even if most Indonesians are dirt poor (some earning less than 2-3 dollars a day), they would do anything to get it. Even if that means selling all their belongings to pay the cost of the trip!!

Nevertheless, even if they don’t have much, they are generally happy people. It is common to come across people having fun, telling jokes and laughing loudly on the side of the road. And when it is raining outside, it is just quite a sight to see children running around naked, happily diving in the mud and splashing each other!